I started coming here and working on my symptoms because my wife totally convinced me of the reality of that rock floor, and of the speed at which I was plummeting towards it. I am done with the excuses, I am done with the asking, the requesting, the pleading and the begging. Am I holding on to a thread of hope when I see little glimpses of change? I thought that communicating my sad, lonely feelings to him would ignite his empathy and move him to action. Grab a lawyer and separate everything: accounts, cars, insurance, credit; get a job; yes it will be best for the kids, better than a miserable and poor mother. In turn, you to feel neglected or interpret this distance as disinterest on behalf of your spouse. If your partner seems disinterested in what you are saying or appears to ignore you, it would be easy to understand that one might feel lonely. Not surprisingly, when I read much of the info and statements on this site, I found I should follow up with my research on this and actively seek a professional diagnosis.
He refuses to consider meds abs thinks therapy is a load of nonsense. He also had some self medicating issues which he brought under control. He experienced a myriad of crisis situations, including rehab, jail, etc. It was not until we began to learn more about the condition and understood better what was going on with him that we committed to each other to work with our relationship. However, if I were to turn the clock back to where you are now, would I do it again? Well, everything is done for me. Went to college, bounced from job to job, but never found his nitch. If he can't pull his finger out to take charge of his life, it's not my problem anymore.
We traced it back to him when we found out my daughter had it. I do have to be the one who remembers appointments. Marriage to people like this is just hell, and why add to the burden. They end up fighting each other rather than tackling the issue. I feel I have lost the man a married…. There are many couples who have taken my seminars and followed my work who can say that after many, many years of struggle - the kind of struggle you are now in - they have finally turned their lives around. From the day I said I do, he changed.
And these children all children, in fact need parents who can act like parents, not children. Nothing I can say or do will get through to you. Addiction can include a compulsive activity, such as workaholism or shopping. Make Lists — This is an easy solution that will bless your relationship in a huge way! Why does this person prefer their own touch to mine? They often hide a large amount of shame, sometimes compensating with bluster or retreat. Years have passed and we are in a sexless marriage.
Now we have been seperated 10 months and we are going thru a divorce. My husband wasn't diagnosed until after we were married when I suggested that something didn't seem right. Easy fix in my mind if we both talk and compromise on a good comfortable medium. I don't want to go out with him because he totally takes charge of everything. I realized as long as I kept thinking I needed to include her in my and our children's lives I was kept in a constant state of frustration. Before my daughter occupied it 7 years ago it was so bad at one point the floor was totally covered with loto tickets, garbage, etrc. It was like a slow leak that you don't recognize until it is too late.
Limit sugar and dyes as much as possible. Took about a year to turn it around. I had to become humble and had to take the first steps. Neither of my children care about me at all. This typical cycle was the same that I experienced at the very first day of my wedding, I struggle a lot during my first year of marriage, I went trough all of this as Melissa Orlov described. A memoir by Judith Newton tells of these difficulties.
Please don't be this type of person. In other words, build on your partner's strengths while avoiding potentially difficult situations. Our finances are also wreaked because she doen't understand when an emergency or vacation comes up you just can't keep charging it, you need cash. We don't really have anyone we can ask to watch him. The mess at our house is just unbelievable with piles of clothes everywhere. Go to my website and look up the live couples tele-seminar given by conference call.
Reading this for me is like reading my own experienced and feelings. I feel bad for him because one day I'm able to cope with my frustration and be loving and civil to him, and the next day I can barely speak to him. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. I would love nothing more than to have a trusting, intimate, relationship with my husband. I carried the weight of all these tasks I'd do and would tell her about it calmly, madly, sadly, every way under the sun to get some help, any help. If you have children, assign them chores.
And perhaps have saved my sanity. I no longer look to her for anything. I am at the end of my tether. She was mad and shocked but then came back and asked I how knew. Most of the time I feel like his mom, therapist, and doctor more than I feel l like his girlfriend.
I truly understand what it is like to get a phone call at work with questions about performing the simplest tasks - I've often asked myself how did this person get through childhood? That seems to be the most important thing right now is him keeping on tract with a schedule as to what and when to do things. I have quipped for a few years that my guys needs a conservatorship like Britney Spears family has over her life. I mean everything - I did her dishes, I cleaned her closet, I cleaned the house, I paid the bills on time, I would even pick up her tampons come on, I'm a guy. Over the last 10 years after our children left I became more aware of things i had noticed before but been ok with. I listen to everything she said, I even wrote them down so I could work on them outside of the sessions. Finally, 13 years ago after seeing an episode with Dr.